I hate the way you’re always there
And the way you come in slices
I hate how you’re the perfect car snack
And I hate when you come with spices

I hate your big dumb deliciousness
I hate that you’re perfectly divine
I hate you so much it makes me hungry
And even makes me rhyme

I hate the way you taste so good
And then attack my insides
I hate it when you’re delightfully creamy
Spread on crackers – I could cry

I hate it when you’re not in the house
When I’ve searched it wall to wall
But mostly I hate that way I don’t hate you
Not even close, not even a little, not even at all